Author Archives: Coffeecat
Brownnosing Your Way to Starfleet Success, By Cmdr. William T. Riker
Every now and then a younger officer will ask me, “Commander Riker, you’re the First Officer on the Federation’s flagship, and yet you can’t be older than 35! What’s the secret to your success?” Normally, in cases like these, the … Continue reading
Hilarious? Indeed. Teal’c’s Funniest Moments, Seasons 1-4
Ah, Teal’c. Big, tough, intimidating badass with a deadpan sense of humor. What’s not to love? Christopher Judge does an admirable job portraying this character. Teal’c is very matter-of-fact and stoic much of the time, and doesn’t always get to … Continue reading
MREInfo: A Connoisseur’s Guide to “Army Alpo”
Here’s a wonderful time-waster for all you armchair survivalists out there: MREInfo, which, as its name suggests, tells you everything you want to know about MREs. MREs, for my less martial-minded readers, are the meals-in-a-bag soldiers in the field subsist upon. … Continue reading
Dorks Down Under: The Peculiar Appeal of ‘Surf Patrol’
Surf Patrol, now appearing occasionally on the Travel Channel, is one of those odd filler programs that turns out to be oddly compelling. The show wants very badly to be a sun-n’-surf version of Real Stories of the Highway Patrol, but, … Continue reading
Merde!: Star Trek TNG’s Worst Episodes Ever
The Next Generation gave us loads of great television. From Locutus of Borg to Data’s struggles with what it means to be human, from “There are four lights!” to the rise of the Klingons as a viable subculture, from the … Continue reading
“He’s Dead, Jim”: Starfleet’s Least Dignified Redshirt Deaths
Ever wonder why Starfleet officers are such policy wonks and butt-kissers par excellence? Well, it’s probably because they spend their entire ensignhood frantically trying to get promoted. Because low-ranking officers, as almost any episode of the Original Series proves, have an … Continue reading
Debbie Does Decon: Enterprise’s Most Gratuitous Moments
Oh, Enterprise. Your fate as a sucky series was sealed the moment Jeri Ryan’s catsuits saved Voyager from cancellation. Prompted by the popularity of Seven and her, uh, Borg implants, your creators decided the surest road to ratings was to sex … Continue reading
The Pecs That Launched A Thousand Starships
Fans of Star Trek’s Original Series know that Kirk’s chest possesses special powers all its own. When it’s exposed, he can defeat any enemy, seduce any woman, and escape from any sticky situation. But fabric, simple fabric, seems to be the Chest’s … Continue reading