Ah, Teal’c. Big, tough, intimidating badass with a deadpan sense of humor. What’s not to love?
Christopher Judge does an admirable job portraying this character. Teal’c is very matter-of-fact and stoic much of the time, and doesn’t always get to display the same emotional range that the other characters do. This requires Judge to convey Teal’c’s feelings through very subtle, almost undetectable, facial expressions. He can do an awful lot with just the twitching of a cheek muscle or the raising of an eyebrow.
Teal’c is so self-contained that, when he does break out in a laugh or smile, it’s a little surprising — and usually very funny. It’s hard not to get caught up in his amusement yourself. With that in mind, here’s a little tribute to some of Teal’c’s funniest moments from the first four seasons of SG-1:
And Then, We Can Cast Pearls Before Some Swine
Much like Data, Teal’c has trouble understanding human idioms. In “The Serpent’s Lair,” when SG-1 discovers they can take out two Goa’uld motherships with one explosion, Teal’c proves he’s finally learned one, observing, “We can kill two birds with just one stone!” As with many things Teal’c, the line itself isn’t that funny, it’s the way Christopher Judge delivers it that makes the scene work. Teal’c has the barest hint of a smug smile on his face, as though he’s just so proud of himself for finally figuring out a human cliché, and has been waiting months for the opportunity to use it. I can’t find a screencap that does it justice, but watch the episode and you’ll see what I mean.
Three System Lords Walk Into A Bar . . .
In “Seth,” we learn that, contrary to popular belief, Jaffa do understand the concept of humor, and that their “jokes” resemble the corny ones your great-uncle tells at Thanksgiving dinner. “An Apophis guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet,” Teal’c relates. “It is a tense moment. The Apophis guard’s eyes glow. The Horus guard’s beak glistens. And the Setesh’s guard’s . . . nose drips!” And he busts out laughing, while the rest of SG-1 gives him befuddled looks. The contrast between his unbridled laughter and his team’s discomfiture is priceless. I especially love how Jackson hides his face behind a cup of coffee:
Other fans must love this moment too, considering how often it pops up on YouTube:
The Happiest Guest Ever To Visit A Motel 6
All the time that Teal’c has spent in the service of the Goa’uld has given him a keen appreciation for the little things. Things like Vibra-Beds, for example. In “Point of No Return,” he and O’Neill hide out in a crappy motel, where he bums quarters off O’Neill, fires up the Vibra-Bed, and lies down on it with a huge smile of satisfaction. Sure, Vibra-Beds are an old joke, but Teal’c’s pure happiness at experiencing something so mundane makes it work this time. Perhaps my husband put it best when he said, “Well, Teal’c doesn’t get out much . . .”
The One That Got Away
Something Teal’c definitely doesn’t love? Fishing. When O’Neill drags him along to the ol’ fishin’ hole in British Columbia Minnesota in “The Curse,” Teal’c fails to see the point of casting a rod into some water, over and over, while being eaten alive by mosquitoes. He’s actually relieved when Daniel Jackson calls and offers him a way out (“No, we have caught nothing! . . . . I would be glad to return to the base”), and then is disappointed when O’Neill nixes that suggestion. Judge’s subtle facial expressions hint, to great comic effect, at the frustration lurking beneath Teal’c’s patient exterior. Plus, Teal’c in hats is always funny.
Whack-A-Nerd
In “Window of Opportunity,” Teal’c and O’Neill are stuck in a time loop, reliving the same ten hours over and over again a la Groundhog Day. Eventually, it dawns on them that they can get away with doing just about anything, as no one else will remember their actions once the loop resets itself. So Teal’c finally gets back at the nerdy staffer who keeps bumping into him in the hall (whom he’s already warned, in Worf-like fashion, “Next time I will not be so merciful”), by flinging a door open and crushing him into the wall. Teal’c’s expression of utter satisfaction is hilarious. It’s a moment of pure id: I’m sure we’ve all, at some point, wanted to smack someone who got on our nerves.
And, as a potter, I would be amiss if I did not call this episode out as the one in which O’Neill learns to use the wheel. Somebody on the Stargate staff must be a potter for these scenes to look as accurate as they do – complete with sponges, muddy clay towel, mound of well-wedged clay, and Kemper tools!
(It’s at 1:52:)
I Love The Java Jaffa Jive And It Loves Me
Speaking of id moments, how about “Urgo,” in which Teal’c, under the influence of an alien computer program, drinks an entire pot of coffee straight from the pot? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten up groggy in the morning, gone to Starbucks, and wanted to do just that.
This one’s also on YouTube. For your caffeinated delectation:
He Who Gloats Last . . .
When you’re a big, powerful warrior and the rest of your team is composed of two nerds and one hothead, you know you’ll be the one to save their butts on numerous occasions. That’s got to be gratifying – and all the more so when they’ve just been granted superpowers and one of them has knocked you out in a sparring match (“Upgrades”). O’Neill, Carter, and Jackson apologize in turn to General Hammond for wreaking havoc and going offworld without his permission, and then Teal’c says, with the tiniest possible intimation of smugness, “I have nothing to apologize for.” Judge’s delivery, again, is spot-on: you can tell Teal’c is inwardly gloating, but the only sign is an extra brightness in his eyes and a very small upward turn to the corners of his lips.
In other Teal’c news, dude likes saying, “Indeed.” A lot:
