Here’s a wonderful time-waster for all you armchair survivalists out there: MREInfo, which, as its name suggests, tells you everything you want to know about MREs.
MREs, for my less martial-minded readers, are the meals-in-a-bag soldiers in the field subsist upon. The acronym MRE stands for Meals Ready to Eat, and, often enough, the moniker is a contradiction on all three terms. MREs are like airline meals on steroids: rather cunning meal kits consisting of a entrée in a pouch (think Starkist Tuna Creations); a water-activated flameless heater to warm said entrée; a side dish like rice or fruit, also in a pouch; a dessert in a pouch (toaster pastry, pound cake, or the like); a snack in a pouch; crackers and jam; a wee bottle of Tabasco sauce; a plastic spoon; and an accessory kit containing napkins, toilet paper, salt, sugar, drink mixes, and the like.
My experience with MREs is limited to the one military science course I took in college out of curiosity, when I did a day of training with the real hardcore ROTC kids and got to munch on my very own MRE. I received the dreaded tuna noodle entrée – which, I am gratified to learn, was discontinued in favor of more appetizing fare in 1998. It looked, and I imagine, tasted, much like cat food. But the rest of the meal was surprisingly palatable, especially the pound cake. And opening all the packets and pouches was, for this civilian, fun, though I’m sure it loses its novelty value pretty quickly.
MRE heater instructions. I love how you’re directed to prop the heater up against a “rock or something.”
If nothing else, browsing through MREInfo will give you a new appreciation for the troops who have to live on the stuff in the little brown bags. For devotes of weird food, though, it’s a goldmine: it contains “menus” for all MREs from 1981 through 2009, pictures of the contents, reviews of some of the entrees, and much more. Scanning the menus and seeing what items get dropped and added over time is like a crash course in military foodways. Out go the Leave It To Beaver standards like escalloped potatoes and chicken a la king; in come vaguely ethnic dishes such as chicken fajitas, beef enchiladas, pasta primavera, chow mein, and something known as “oriental” chicken.
Here’s a sampling of some of the other cool stuff to be found on the site:
Animal abuse? Reviewer feeds his cat an MRE entree.
Civilian MREs. Yes, that’s right, you don’t have to enlist in order to enjoy such delicacies as Brisket Entrée, Beef Patty, or Chili and Macaroni! You can order your own MREs through such companies as Ameriqual or MRE Star, or, for the ultimate in authenticity, you can purchase Menu Cs, made by the same supplier that provides MREs to the Armed Forces. Stock up now and you won’t be caught helpless once the bird flu pandemic hits or the zombies rampage your city! (Actually, they’re probably bought by the kinds of folks who hike the entire Appalachian Trail. I can see them being good for camping or hiking, and nerds like me kids would enjoy the novelty of using the heaters and unwrapping all the little packets.)
Gitmo MREs. Otherwise known as MARCs (Meal, Alternative Regionally Customized), these MREs were designed for the detainees at Guantanamo Bay. The entrees are all vegetarian, Indian meals like Channa dal Masala and Saag Chole. According to the reviewer, they’re not that bad-tasting.
HDR packaging
Humanitarian Daily Rations. These are the MRE-type meals in bright packages you see being airlifted to refugees. The meals are vegetarian and the entrees sound like that joke on The Simpsons about Indian food: all beans, rice, and lentils. Interestingly, the bags contain the message: “Food Gift from the People of the United States of America.”
The story of the omelet-with-ham fiasco. At one point during the war, Iraqi allies were given MREs to eat – including ones containing the omelet-with-ham entrée, which of course they couldn’t have, being Muslim. So some generous soldiers picked out all the chicken and beef entrees and gave them to Iraqis, and were then faced with a diet containing a high percentage of omelets with ham. (I hope somebody sent those guys some good coffee.)
Brave reviewers eating MREs from the Reagan Administration. Yes, one guy was crazy enough to sample a still-intact MRE from 1986. He didn’t die from the “Army Alpo,” but neither did he enjoy the experience. No wonder, when the “Ground Beef with Spiced Sauce” entrée looked like this:
And for dessert, reconstituted fruit! Yum:
He also tried my old nemesis. Oh, memories:
And look what a pitiful excuse for coffee they give those poor grunts:
MRE “accessory kit”
Taster’s Choice? Nobody can fight on Taster’s Choice!
International MREs. Some Italian rations kits come with nip bottles – 3 oz. bottles of “cordiale.” Specifications state that this brandy-like liqueur must be 70 proof, pale amber in color, and “of a pleasing smell and taste.” 
But you know who’s really got it made? The French. French RCIRs offer such choices as lamb navarin, paella, sautéed rabbit, and white bean, sausage, and duck casserole (!). Soldiers on duty with French troops have been known to trade 5 MREs for 1 RCIR, and in Somalia, reportedly, you could trade a case of RCIRs for a U.S. field cot.
Contents of a French RCIR.
If some company decided to combine the French entrees with the Italian cordiale they might have a hit on their hands: GMREs, or Gourmet Meals-Ready-To-Eat, perfect for the upscale hiker, batty rich survivalist, or starving grad student!
