Fans of Star Trek’s Original Series know that Kirk’s chest possesses special powers all its own. When it’s exposed, he can defeat any enemy, seduce any woman, and escape from any sticky situation. But fabric, simple fabric, seems to be the Chest’s kryptonite. Somehow, though, Kirk manages to lose his shirt more often than a defenseman on a minor-league ice hockey team on Kronos, ensuring that the crew of the Enterprise will always have Pectoral Power on hand when they need it.
Either that, or the producers wanted to spice the show up with a little 60’s matinee-idol shirtlessness. Take your pick.
Whichever’s the case, the Original Series vies with Enterprise in its glaringly obvious attempts to get its actor(s) in a state of dishabille. And so, I bring you the ten most gratuitous instances of Kirk nudity in Star Trek history:
10. “The Turnabout Intruder”
Who exercises with their legs up in the air? Why, Kirk, of course! It’s the Quad-Pounder, endorsed by 4 out of 5 Starfleet medical officers with blood alcohol levels of .45!
9. “Plato’s Children”
See, it’s not just the space bunnies who get the skimpy skirts in TOS! You can bet Uhura and Chapel were thinking, “Now they know how we feel.” Spock and Kirk never looked so self-conscious – Nimoy’s face says, “I’m wearing a skirt, I’ve got plastic leaves on my head, and I’m freezing my butt off.”
8. “Amok Time”
Even a pon farr-crazed Vulcan can’t bear to do more than scratch the surface of the Greatest Torso in Space. Somehow, armed with a giant lirpa, he manages to artfully slice Kirk’s shirt open, leaving a delicate line of blood that only serves to emphasize the Pecs. Well, we knew there was a reason T’Pring wanted to see Kirk fight . . .
7. “The Empath”
Someone’s been a very bad boy: The aliens of “The Empath” hang a shirtless Kirk from chains in what looks like a scene out of “Vulcan Love Slave II.”
6. “The Enemy Within” (see also “Journey to Babel”)
In which we learn that Kirk just likes wandering around his quarters in the buff, presumably admiring his pecs in the mirror. “Journey to Babel” contains an extra shirtless scene – Kirk with a sparkly bandage wrapped ‘round The Chest in Sick Bay – but “Enemy” edges it out due to that oh-so-debonair towel.
5. “The Naked Now”
It’s sword-slinging Sulu who gets to show off the chest in this one, but Kirk’s delts do see the light of day when McCoy rips Kirk’s sleeve off to administer an injection. Completely gratuitous – and inexplicable. Why wouldn’t he just roll his sleeve up? Or was McCoy too drunk to think of that?
4. “The Gamesters of Triskelion”
Kirk’s alien captors decide he needs to fight wearing only a weird suspender thing over The Chest. And a collar. What is it with these kinky aliens?! Fortunately, they let Chekov keep his shirt on.
3. “Shore Leave” (see also “Court Martial”)
While fighting Finnegan, Kirk just happens to have half his shirt torn off – and it stays that way for the bulk of the episode. They must make those gold shirts out of some pretty flimsy material, as this never happens to any of the guys in red or blue.
2. “What Are Little Girls Made Of?”
What’s better (or worse, depending on your perspective) than Kirk au naturel? How about two naked Kirks, made safe for prime time only by strategically placed bands of metal! So went the thinking behind this odd device, which we’re supposed to believe will make a duplicate android of Kirk by whirling him around at insane speeds. Sure, right.
Just in case you’re curious about what’s under the metal, the episode later provides a Freudian analogue (or is a stalactite just a stalactite?):
1. “Charlie X”
Standard issue Starfleet exercise gear leaves very little to the imagination. Those tight pants make the stalactite look downright subtle.
